I love when anyone wants to share the truth about sex and our bodies. I love it even more hardcore when it’s a PARENT that shares the age-appropriate truth with his/her children, like the one linked to in the title of this post! I mean, you’re half doing my job already, which will make it even easier for me once they’re older!
For that, I thank you because it’s about prevention first and foremost. For those parents that are all up in arms about schools teaching your children about sex and that it’s wrong, blah blah, well, do your job then and help teach them from your perspective!
If you don’t teach them, how can you expect them to learn? Teachers’ jobs should be clear-cut; the education, facts, and statistics are there. Parents also have a job to teach their children about right from wrong, truth vs. fiction, and helping their children become adults.
Right vs. wrong isn’t just a morals/ethics things either; you’re should also know what is right vs. wrong when it comes to healthcare information. Don’t just spout off information that you haven’t checked and scare tactics because study after study show that it doesn’t work.
Help me help you. Help me help your child.
I’m in love with this piece. Read and share and share some more.
There are certain words that are applied to women specifically in order to manipulate them into compliance: “slut,” “bitch,” “ugly/fat” and, of course, “crazy.” These words encapsulate what society defines as the worst possible things a woman can be. Slut-shaming is used to coerce women into restricting their own sexuality into a pre-approved vision of feminine modesty and restraint. “Bitch” is used against women who might be seen as being too aggressive or assertive… acting, in other words, like a man might. “Ugly” or “fat” are used — frequently interchangeably — to remind them that their core worth is based on a specific definition of beauty, and to deviate from it is to devalue not only oneself but to render her accomplishments or concerns as invalid.
"Crazy" may well be the most insidious one of the four because it encompasses so much. At its base, calling women "crazy" is a way of waving away any behavior that men might find undesirable while simultaneously absolving those same men from responsibility. Why did you break up with her? Well, she was crazy. Said something a woman might find offensive? Stop being so sensitive.
As a super assertive, sexually healthy woman, I’ve been told my fair share of, “You’re crazy” “Get over it” “You’re being too much” when sharing my feelings, which are always vaild. Even if I’m PMSing, they’re valid.
Calling women crazy helps keep them in a box, a box where they are taught that their feelings are never valid, keep quiet, and just try to make others happy at the expense of your own happiness.
Calling women crazy also totally undermines and negates real mental illness by making it sound as though it’s something that can be controlled if you just try not to be crazy.
The more we allow this type of name calling, the more we let men say these types of things about women as though they have no responsibility to these same women, the less change we’ll see in domestic violence, women murdered by men, sexual assault and rape prevalence. We need to STRESS above all that when you see a woman as an object, you refer to her as something that acts like an object. Objects don’t feel, they don’t emote, and you are saying that you would like it better if your woman was like an object.
Guess what. Women are people too, and deserve to be treated as such. Which means to agree that they are allowed to feel things (even if you don’t like it), they are allowed to say things (even if you don’t agree), they are allowed to want sex (even at times and in ways that you may not want), and are allowed to be whoever they want to be (even if you don’t like who they turn out to be).
End of story.
No one’s story is the same. The story linked in the title from New York Magazine is super interesting. People decide to have abortions for many reasons, and they are all valid.
The part that hurts to read is so many of them discuss issues around birth control, either its failure, or their inability to remain on it. One woman outright says that she had no idea how her own body worked. She had no education.
That’s the issue here. Education. Education for those who think abortion is the most evil of all evils because they don’t understand the real issues surrounding it. Education for those women seeking abortions to make sure they get correct information, not lies. Education for those women and their partners seeking abortions to make sure they understand their menstrual cycles, hormonal and non hormonal birth control, and how sex actually works. Education for women and men having sex, so that they truly understand their bodies, their reproductive capacity, and what healthy relationships look like.
Everyone should have equal access to correct information and education. On top of that, we must reduce the stigma and shame associated with unplanned pregnancies. This helps nothing and no one.
I repeat, stigma and shame helps nothing and no one.
Compassion, understanding, and education. Those are our tickets to a more equal and helpful world.
Hope you enjoy tonight and this weekend’s festivities! Remember to stay safe and always be prepared. The women dressed in short, tight costumes aren’t the only ones who can get lucky (no matter what the expectations are), so buy condoms and make sure you’re safe!
Even teenagers need to be safe at all times, which is why I’m reposting this excellent recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics which states that condoms should be made available to teenagers! Having condoms available doesn’t encourage adolescents to have sex, as multiple studies have shown. It just helps them be prepared in case they decide to have sex.
Providing condoms to adolescents has been - and likely will continue to be - a controversial topic. But the American Academy of Pediatrics is asking communities, educators, parents and doctors to step up in making this form of contraception more available to teens.
"Although abstinence of sexual activity is the most effective method for prevention of pregnancy and STIs (sexually transmitted infections), young people should be prepared for the time when they will become sexually active," several doctors wrote in a policy statement published Monday in the organization’s journal Pediatrics. “When used consistently and correctly, male latex condoms reduce the risk of pregnancy and many STIs, including HIV.”
Teen pregnancy rates are declining in the United States; in 2011, the number of babies born to women aged 15 to 19 was at a record low, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But sexually transmitted infections, or STIs, continue to be a problem for this age group. The CDC estimates that people between the ages of 15 and 24 account for half of the 20 million new STI cases that are reported each year.
In the statement, an update from their 2001 position, the pediatricians’ organization recommends removing restrictions and barriers that often prevent teens from accessing condoms. Parents should be talking to their teens about sex, the doctors say, and pediatricians can help. The paper’s authors encourage their colleagues to provide condoms in their offices and support increasing access in the community. They also recommend providing condoms in schools, in addition to comprehensive sexual education.
It’s advice some are already taking to heart. The fairly new Condom Access Project allows teens in seven California counties to confidentially request a pack of condoms online, up to once a month.
In New York, high schools are required to provide Health Resource Rooms where students can access free condoms and other health information. Boston, Philadelphia and other cities are also jumping on board to offer free condoms to teens.
Research has shown that sexual education programs do not increase sexual activity among teens, and may have a significant impact on reducing risky behaviors. One 2007 meta-analysis found that sexual education programs may delay the age at which teens start having sex, reduce the number of partners they have sex with, and increase condom and contraceptive use. The same is true for condom accessibility programs.
Several studies have shown that providing condoms to teens, especially in high schools, encourages them to use condoms “more often and more consistently” without encouraging them to have sex more often, or with more partners, according to Advocates for Youth.
For example, a 2003 study done on Massachusetts high schools’ condom availability programs showed “adolescents in schools where condoms were available were more likely to receive condom use instruction and less likely to report lifetime or recent sexual intercourse. Sexually active adolescents in those schools were twice as likely to use condoms.”
In the 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Survey (the latest data available), 47.4% of students reported having sexual intercourse at least once in their lifetime; 33.7% were sexually active at the time of the survey. Approximately 60% of the sexually active students reported using a condom during their last sexual experience - an increase of 14% since 1991.
I’m re-posting these two articles because I don’t think I can summarize the issue better. Until we can move the rape prevention discussion past victim blaming and slut shaming, we’re not going to make a dent in rape and sexual assault prevalence. The reality holds true: I can drink whatever I want and wear whatever I want; nothing I do or wear EVER gives someone else the right or a pass to assault or violate me. EVER.
No. 1 Surefire Rape Prevention Tip For Ladies: Don’t Exist
In the wake of a horrifying Maryville, Missouri rape case that many are calling the “new Steubenville” — a teenage girl says she was raped on videotape by a high school football player who later left her unconscious outside — Emily Yoffe, Slate’s “Dear Prudence” advice columnist, offers an age-old solution: Don’t drink if you don’t want to get raped.
“…A misplaced fear of blaming the victim has made it somehow unacceptable to warn inexperienced young women that when they get wasted, they are putting themselves in potential peril,” Yoffe wrote in a piece entitled “The Best Rape Prevention: Tell College Women to Stop Getting so Wasted.” She insists she’s not blaming the victim — unless, of course, the victim was hammered — but argues that “young women are getting a distorted message that their right to match men drink for drink is a feminist issue. The real feminist message should be that when you lose the ability to be responsible for yourself, you drastically increase the chances that you will attract the kinds of people who, shall we say, don’t have your best interest at heart.”
Yoffe cites a study that claims more than 80 percent of campus sexual assaults involve alcohol, but fails to address the drunken perpetrators themselves, a bizarre strategy considering a U.S. Department of Justice study found that the perpetrator was intoxicated in 1 in 3 sexual assaults. Although Yoffe notes that studies show men sometimes use drinking to justify rape, the only advice she has for men is for her hypothetical falsely incriminated son: “I would tell him that it’s in his self-interest not to be the drunken frat boy who finds himself accused of raping a drunken classmate.” Her non-hypothetical daughter, on the other hand, gets lectures on “her responsibility to take steps to protect herself.”
General risk reduction and safety tips — stay aware of your surroundings, watch out for your friends — are crucial when it comes to sexual assault prevention, said Jennifer Marsh, vice president of victim services at the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. But it’s ineffective and harmful to frame that advice in a way that suggests there are specific steps one can take to avoid being sexually assaulted. Yoffe’s column “sends the message that if you don’t drink, you won’t be raped, which is obviously not the case,” Marsh said. “Unfortunately, there’s no surefire way to prevent sexual assault.”
No one knows that better than survivors, who are tired of being told that they wouldn’t have been assaulted if they had been sober. “I’ve had drunk sex that I regret that I know wasn’t assault,” said 23-year-old Kerry Barrett, a graduate of the University of Missoula in Montana who was pressured by police not to press charges when she was sexually assaulted after a night out at the bars in 2011. “There’s a fundamental difference.”
Alternative PSA strategies do exist; “Make Your Move, Missoula” shames perpetrators instead of victims by encouraging bystander intervention. (Sample tagline: “I could tell she was asking for it…to stop. So I stepped in and told my buddy that was no way to treat a lady. And he backed off.”) But too many legislators and pundits like Yoffe tell victims it’s their responsibility not to get raped, even when the high-profile case du jour wouldn’t have been prevented by that advice: The 14-year-old victim in Maryville was hardly a binge-drinking bargoer.
Barrett said she understands why victim-blaming resonates: it’s reassuring. “It’s easy to think victims are responsible for or just ashamed of their behavior,” she said. “That way, you don’t need to think about how often sexual assault happens.”
This morning, Slate ran a rape prevention piece by Emily Yoffe with the aggressive headline: COLLEGE WOMEN: STOP GETTING DRUNK. Subhed: “It’s closely associated with sexual assault. And yet we’re reluctant to tell women to stop doing it.” The URL of the piece advertises telling silly women to stop drinking is “the best rape prevention.” Unsurprisingly, this bit of e-prudery by the woman otherwise known as Dear Prudence was poorly received because, you know, we’re all pretty tired of the “ladies be getting themselves raped” trope — and for good reason. Is there a way to discuss rape prevention and personal safety that both acknowledges the sad, rapey reality of the world without blaming the victims and, by extension, coming across like a scoldy asshole? Of course. Here’s how.
DO encourage people of both genders to pay attention to their personal safety.
I can’t agree more. Well put, indeed.
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Ever heard of FAP? Wonder what it is? Guess what: it’s something everyone should do to be sexually healthy!
Only when fapping becomes something that you can’t control anymore, that it gets in the way of living your life, should it be of concern. Check out the graphic above about the NoFap community and see if you should belong if you feel that you have a problem with porn.
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'I Expected A Monumental Change In Myself After Sex'
And what if there isn’t this huge change? That’s not a bad thing. You should always be prepared going into sex, just like you do a driving test. Stay healthy!